Thursday, November 22, 2007

80 some days...

I haven't posted here in 80 some days...why you might ask the reason is simple...i needed to make sure that my blog was no longer being read...or at least just checked as often as it once was...cuz the last few months have been hard and my mind has never stopped spinning as fast as it is still now...i needed an outlet and my guitar and this page is it...but what i'm going to talk about from here on in is me...the way my mind works what i think and all of that other good stuff that i try and keep to myself...cuz i laugh on the outside while on the inside is something completely different

i have a problem with relationship...i push them away i don't let them in...i don't want people to see me...cuz i've worked so hard for people to see the outside that everyone likes that i'm in constant fear that 'I' might come out...oh there have been glimpses and slip ups but never of 'me' all the time...i can only recall 2 where i haven't been afraid...and unfortunately for me i'm doing it now...and i'd almost be lying if i said i didn't want to be

they say that if people really are your friends they won't care and love you for who you are...but what if they don't like the person they see what if everything they have come to know is a lie and they want nothing to do with me...i've been trying to slowly open up and get past all this to certain people just to see...and it hasn't been bad but it hasn't exactly been reassuring either

i think that's enough for one night...be back soon...to those that still live when hearts have grown cold and minds that still dream though weary and old

Song of the Moment: Nothing Special by IllScarlett

Thank you come again
stay clean kids...cuz the dirt on the outside is easy to get off

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

don't be afriad to be yourself...if a friend is truly a friend, no matter what, they will love you...
people do tend to change constantly as well...thus is life. but you know that!
...good to have you back after all those lonesome days without your powerful words!...lol :P well...the stories were missed...

10:54 PM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger Leah said...

I know that you don't give me the whole story...but I'm thankful for what you do give me. I really enjoy our talks...sometimes they're my favorite times with you because I know you're letting me see just a piece of who you are. As annonymous said, "don't be afraid to be yourself" cuz we who are your friends will stick by your side. I've told you that before, and I hope that I've shown you that over the years.
And yes, it was about time you updated! :o)

11:09 AM, November 29, 2007  

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