Looking forward to the future

i laughed so hard i thought i'd cry

Krwling

I feel like the artists of Linkin Park when they penned the words to 'Crawling'

It's haunting how i can't seem
to find myself again
these wall are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
so insecure

Crawling...


i want to shake this feeling...just scared of what i might have to do to shake this...

shake this...not even mike and chester could do it

why do i think i'm different

Simple Man

i had a meeting for pastoral candidacy recently...they loved me, i made them laugh, they said i had a great head on my shoulders for ministry...but what stresses me time, when we hit that subject i became a candidate for 'burn out' then they used those words 'burn out' 8 more times throughout the meeting...

and i knew it...this was no shock to me, i'd been thinking the same...been feeling like a juggler with so many balls up in the air...schoolwork, work, relationship, friends, me time...constantly juggling the balls watching them in the air criss-crossing...u watch the balls that are important, but u'll know that by watching one ball more closely u lose sight of another...

like all good jugglers they just keep throwing extra balls up, but not for long can they keep them all up, and for me as i watch the balls i know i have to juggle less so i can better control the ones i'm throwing...and the question is do i simply put one ball to the side (and 'control' the decision) or do i juggle until i drop one, which one unclear...

for now they're all up in the air...and i've never been a good juggler

song of the moment: Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Much Needed Kick to the Confidence

lately my confidence has been low...and by lately i mean a good chunk of time...and it was just that what was happening at the present time was a large change from the past that i was trying to reflect into my present, and i thought that lack of past exploits was me...and i think i can say i got depressed at times and it was like a funk i couldn't get out of...it was something i was so used to having...and i took it for granted and when it was gone...it felt like a big hole...

but over the time that hole's been getting smaller...still down sometimes but it's not as harsh..doesn't last as long...hole gets smaller...til now...hole is gone...confidence is back...it just took a little balls but in a week it turned around...the change of scenery helps...no one i know no judgement...now it's time to take this confidence back...to where it's familiar...i think i can do that...i know i can

19 2 32

Lyrical Thought

I know i've been holding it in
the way i feel about you
something i've been dying to say
but i don't know how you'll take it
oh please don't go
you should know...

these three words
i've been holding back
and trying to fight
I'mma let em out
these three words
gotta let you know
so here i go...

Go Screw Yourself

what am i?

new...
everlasting...
tainted...
puppy...
first...
endless...
modern...
chemical...
blind...
true...
past...
strange...
kid...
unrequited...
undying...
crazy...
tough...
real...
only...
lost...
secret...
passionate...

...and those are just the ones a guy like me could think of...

I swear this time I mean It

Alberta please be Still tonight
don't disturb this Love Of mine
Look how She's So Serene
You've gotta help me Out
And count the Stars to form the Lines
And find the Words We'll Sing In time
I Wanna keep her dreamin'
It's my One Wish
I Won't forget this

I'm Outdated, Overrated
morning Seems So far Away

So I'll Sing A melody
And hope to god She's Listening
Sleeping Softly While I Sing
And I'll be Your memories
Your Lullaby for All the times
hoping that my Voice could get It right

If Luck Is On my Side tonight
my clumsy tongue Will make It right
And Wrists that touch
It Isn't much, but It's Enough
to form Imaginary Lines
forget Your Scars
We'll forget mine
the hours change So fast
Oh god please make this Last

I'm Outdated, Overrated
morning Seems So far Away

So I'll Sing A melody
And hope to god She's Listening
Sleeping Softly While I Sing
And I'll be Your memories
Your Lullaby for All the times
hoping that my Voice could get It right

U could crush me
please don't crush me
cause baby I'm A dreamer for Sure
And I Won't Let You down
I Swear this time I mean It

So I'll Sing A melody
And hope to god She's Listening
Sleeping Softly While I Sing
And I'll be Your memories
Your Lullaby for All the times
hoping that my Voice could get It right...