Friday, August 31, 2007

Only to Me

'Only to you coud that happen to'...was recently said to me by a friend...and upon thinking about it it's completely true...only to a person such as myself can such a rollercoaster exist...and you know what i won't change a bit of it...don't get me wrong it's not all good...but it's not all bad either and the good outweighs the bad...all the stuff and crap and bullocks i've gone through have only made me a better person...well at least i think so...some people i'm sure would disagree...for instance

finding a drawer full of women's underwear in Founders...yeah that's an interesting moment in time believe me...but i get to laugh about it now...actually i think i laughed about it then too...only i get called up on a special day to be told i could be there as the main event and then hung up on...thank God for that one...sigh of relief goes i'll take all of it...cuz really it makes an awesome story to tell

a wrote a song last year for songwriter's talking about my struggles in life and how i put too much of it on myself and don't trust God but you know what when you fall over and can't go anymore He's there for you...and to those that ask for His help you shall receive...i still can't listen to the recorded version of that song...but anywho...a friend said to me 'you're smiling a lot more' and it's true cuz i don't just see a small narrow road that i have to walk alone and if i trip i go over the edge...i see wide road and i don't walk it alone and i never will there will always be one with me...and it's up to me what point in the horizon i walk towards and make my adventure...want to come with?

song of the moment: My Way- Eric Moffett...i didn't name this song had no title until after my set i sat down and looked over and saw what a friend of mine had wrote and it's stuck in my head ever that's how it got it's name

thank you come again
stay clean kids...or get a little dirt on makes for better laughs later

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Trust and Honesty

So i sit here and wonder to myself...what are the two things that i value most in my friendships/relationships...and the answer is trust and honesty

When i was younger and by younger i mean i still do it now is make up stories that about my life just to make it more i don't become just another face in the crowd...another person that will be forgotten once people have moved on...i can say i do it much less now then i did then...but that doesn't make it any better...and i still lie to people i love and that hurts me more than to the people i've lied to i'm sorry

Trust is something that i give out have my trust until you do something that shows you don't deserve it...but it's also something that i have a large problem with...cuz i give it out so freely and i assume to myself that people won't break it...but we're human and it happens and in the end i'm left with questions

Like how in hell can i ask for someone to trust and be honest with me if i know i can't do it back? can i sit here and tell myself that next time will be different when i know then that i'm lying to myself?

I've tried for so long to be someone that's outside of the box...someone that people want to look up to...and i'm a fraud for trying a lot of the time...cuz i know that at the end of the day i'm just another face in the crowd...indiscriminate from all the others...another blur as you drive down the street

i don't know why i wrote this cuz i don't think many read this anymore...mostly cuz i haven't written in 2 months...but it feels better saying it and being honest...cuz i don't want to lie anymore...i don't want to hurt because of lies...

Song of the Moment: Free Bird by Lynard Skynard...i love this song...i air guitar the 6 minute solo in the shower...i'm not supposed to tell you that...but some sing...some air guitar i do both

Thank you come again
Stay Clean Kids...Do not point out the plank in your brother's eye until you have taken the log out of yours...or something like that